If only fantasy land had laws and lawyers….

Pandiyan Vairamani
3 min readMar 31, 2019


…. we will see some real justice in that world.

Like the time, Jack and Jill dusted themselves up after falling down and getting up. Then they went straight to a lawyer and got the municipality sued for negligence and incompetence. The authorities were charged with improper planning (putting a well on a hill) and failing to provide proper paths and stairway for the public.

Not to be forgotten are the similar cases. There was Humpty Dumpty against the Public Works Department for poor quality of safety features on a wall; Little Mary had to sue the school and the Education Department for animal cruelty when they separated the harmless and cuddlesome Little Lamb from her by turning it out from the school.

There have been cases asking for damages not from authorities but ordinary people. The famous one was of course that of an old man who was thrown down the stairs on the advice of Goosey Goosey Gander. And there was Little Miss Muffet with arachnophobia suing her housemaid for not doing justice to her duties. Another set of girls stopped crying to charge Georgie Porgie with sexual harassment. Being a bully he ran away though. Little Pussy went after Little Tommy Thin after he put her in the well.

The most notorious case was that of a hushed baby who sued her mother for gross incompetence. Consider the facts. The mocking bird mother got didn’t sing. Diamond ring she brought was actually plastic. The glass she got broke. The bull she got even turned over the cart. It went on. World had never seen a more thoroughly unprepared mother. But considering her noble aims and the sanctity of motherhood, the jury was not fully convinced.

And then there were cases where people wanted to pursue legal action but didn’t know how to sue the natural forces. For instance, when it was raining and pouring, an snoring old man bumped his head and couldn’t get up in the morning. What was he to do? Itsy Bitsy Spider had a similar problem with rain and water, being forced to crawl up the waterspout again and again.

Sometimes the cases are reversed too. Authorities also have the right to taken legal action against individual citizens. The case in point is the housing society which charged the crooked man for violating local building codes. Some animal activists managed to convince Baa Baa Black Sheep to file a case against his master, dame and the little boy for animal exploitation. And animal cruelty is not from people alone. Some times the perpetrators are animals themselves. In a curious case of an animal against animal, the Unicorn sued the Lion for beating him all around the town and taking the crown.

We have seen doctors getting sued often. Legal liability insurance is a big thing in many countries. However in a twist of fate, a geriatric doctor sued the old man for not acting his age and playing knick-knick on all kinds of unsuitable objects like the doctor’s knee, door, shoe, drum and what not. The old man was disturbing the hospital atmosphere endangering his safety and others. The doctor claimed that his stress level went so high that it almost gave him a heart attack. The old man’s defense was that he believed that age was just a number and one should live life to the fullest.

And in a twist of fate, I am now reliably informed that I am myself being targetted by miffed authors of nursery rhymes and agitated kindergarten teachers for my writing. I could face a class action suit anytime soon.

All pictures are from Wikimedia Commons and are Public Domain.



Pandiyan Vairamani

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